Some of you may remember me mentioning that I was accosted by a pigeon while back in Portland over Christmas. To be honest, I thought it was pretty funny. I mean how many people do you know that have had a pigeon fly into their head?
Well, know you know a person who has had it happen to her TWICE. Yes, folks it happened AGAIN. I was leaving for work one morning about a month ago. It was just getting light out, and I had just stepped onto the sidewalk across the street from our apartment. I looked to my right down the road to gauge how far away my bus was and if I would make it to the stop in time to catch it. And right as I looked to my right a pigeon dive-bombed into my head.
What the hell? Am I wearing invisible bird seed? Does my hair look like a birds nest(I guess this may be possible)? Or, have pigeons collectively just decided to up and revolt?
Who knows. God help me if it happens again though. I’m starting to feel like I walked into a scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds.
People own dogs. I get that. Dogs crap. I get that too. But what I don’t get is that people don’t always understand that they need to pick that shit up. The other day I stepped out of the car directly into an enormous pile of shit. It was made even more lovely because I didn’t actually realize it until I had tracked it up three flights of stairs, walked through and around my apartment and gone into my bedroom to take of my shoes. That is when I discovered that my shoe was caked in crap and that my apartment smelled like it too. What I’m choosing not to think about is that there is a distinct possibility that a dog may not have been the offender…if you know what I mean. At times like this I am reminded by my good friend Forrest Gump:
Bumper Sticker Guy: [running after Forrest] WOAH! Man, you just ran through a big pile of dog shit!
Forrest Gump: It happens.
Bumper Sticker guy: What, shit?
Forrest Gump: Sometimes.
Last weekend Tim and I decided to go to the Jelly Belly Factory in Fairfield, because, well, what could be more fun then that? Except that we went on a Saturday, and sadly all the bean makers are home with their families on weekends so the factory was kinda quiet. But alas, we made do. This was quite the educational little tour. Did you know that it takes up to three weeks to make a Jelly Belly Bean? Or, that they package up all the misshapen, irregular, stuck together, too big, too small, and other not up to Jelly Belly standards beans into two pound bags of Belly Flops? Or, best fact yet…did you know that they don’t just throw away the Jelly Beans that fall on the ground during production. Nope. They package these up, ship them off to farmers, where they are actually fed to PIGS. We all know that pigs eat anything…but apparently, the consumption of Jelly Belly Beans actually makes pigs leaner. I wish that eating jelly beans made me leaner.
And, lastly, what would a blog post be without Oliver? My co-worker and friend, Lee, is also in art school. As a project she had to film a documentary. What did she choose as her subject? Why, Oliver of course. Enjoy 🙂