warning: the following contains complete randomness that may actually bore you to tears

Three totally separate and random anecdotes…

1) I’ll be the first to admit that my dreams often make absolutely no sense, but last night’s took the cake. I won’t go into full detail, because I don’t even think I can piece it all together, but here’s the gist…Cast: Me, Tim, Kirsten, and my crazy seventh grade math teacher Mr. Dillion. Supporting Cast: dozens of puppies, kittens, and guinea pigs. Part one took place in a location much resembling a human sized version of Hobbiton from Lord of the Rings. Mr. Dillion had to park his Jeep on top of the garage because the garage was actually a makeshift barn where he kept all the puppies, kittens, and guinea pigs. We all had to leap from the roof of the garage to the ground bellow. When I lept I fell and broke my arm. Off to part two: Somehow I ended up in a castle, I’m assuming Buckingham Palace in England with one of the kittens from Mr. Dillion’s garage/barn. I was trying to escape with the kitten. I ended up in a giant pink room with two armed guards (who much resembled the giant cartoon guards; the one’s wearing playing card uniforms, from Disney’s Alice in Wonderland). They wouldn’t let me leave until they were finished carving the giant Christmas turkey. Then I woke up….Huh?

2) I pulled out my much neglected box of unfinished knitting projects today. Since it seems like half my friends are pregnant or have newborns, I figured it was about time I finished the baby booties that I started knitting almost eleven months ago. I’m lame, I know. The best part about this though, is that Tim sat down on the couch next to me and actually offered to help me knit. It was a well intentioned offer, but really didn’t last long. There’s something about a guy trying to knit pink baby booties that I don’t think sat very well with him. Totally priceless though. I can’t imagine that this scenario will ever happen again.

3) Tim relayed this story to me a few weeks ago, and I forgot about it until just a moment ago. Now, as a disclaimer, let me say that the man mentioned in the following walked away from this incident mostly unscathed, so I fell completely justified making fun and pointing out the hilarious irony of his situation…Apparently there was a guy, who for what ever reason was very very tired, and was driving home. As you can guess, he fell asleep at the wheel. This could have turned out tragically, as you can imagine, but instead of causing a car accident, he ended up driving his car right through the glass display window into a store front….and not just any store front, a mattress store. Yep, that’s right. If this had actually made the news, I would have cut out the headline and mailed it into David Letterman for his “Headlines” segment (or is that Leno?). I can just see it now: “Man falls asleep at wheel and drives car into bed store.” There’s no way that wouldn’t have made the show.

That’s all for now. You can now return to your regullarly scheduled programs. 🙂

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